In 2015, my Dad passed away suddenly from Cancer. He had been given the all clear the October before and just a few days before Christmas he was told the Cancer was back and it wasn’t good news. Christmas Eve came and we sat by his side while he lay in bed, seeming to peer into another world, which called him home, as he passed away.
I remember later clearing out his office, clearing out books and little gifts he had received from clients, which held no value to us, but a lot of value to him. It struck me how, when you die, you leave everything physical behind you and what you deem valuable and personal in your life, becomes meaningless to another. There is a saying ‘One mans trash is another mans treasure’, but in this case ‘One mans treasure became another mans trash’. It also became clear to me when you die the knowledge and wisdom in your head, is buried with you unless you pass it on. Therefore the only thing in this world you can pass on, and which survives your death, is a legacy of wisdom and teaching.
Around this time I was also working in a highly stressful job. I was working for a furniture company doing Office management, sales, design, marketing, advertising, customer services and anything else which needed my attention. Our customers were absolute nightmares, complaining about the most ridiculous things, so trivial and minute, that I began to lose my faith in humanity. Humans can be so unnecessarily unkind and intentionally rude, going out of their way to be spiteful, hurtful and controlling. That people would complain about 2mm of a difference in the size of something they ordered was beyond me. I was slowly unravelling and my job and these narky insane customers were eating me up.
In that same year, after my Dads death, and as my job drove me to lose my faith in humanity, my relationship then also unraveled. I was engaged, due to be married, and just about to send out the invites when I accidentally discovered and uncovered a whole world, myriad of lies, which existed behind my Fiance’s sweet demeanor, which completely turned my life upsidedown. He had been living a completely double life, for the entire time we were together, leaving a trail of chaos I was unaware of. Needless to say, that ended!
So, there I was lying in the dark on my bed staring into the abyss that was originally my future, which no longer resembled anything which I could consider certain or familiar. A whole future life, now an illusion and unreal. So, I decided to leave my job and go travel.
On my travels I unintentionally studied various topics of interest in every country I went to (see bio), and I felt liberated by this learning. I absolutely love learning something new, a new skill, especially when it is a skill that has survived and been passed on by generations. Methods on self healing and self discovery. There is something incredibly comforting in knowing that, especially as women who were not allowed education and therefore our written history is limited, we have kept the flame of wisdom burning brightly. That is our legacy. To heal and empower.
During my travels I found myself at home in nature. I found the slowness and ease of natures unfolding, without cause or care for time, sweet and overwhelmingly beautiful. I wondered what the hell, as humans, we were at, at all!
We rush from A to B, we are impatient and careless about ourselves, others and our environment. We stand on each other to rise to the top. We lack time for compassion and there is a need for speed to rush past emotion. We spend so many hours of our days, weeks, months, years, life, working and stressed out beyond comprehension….. For what? To make somebody else lots of money, and to make so little ourselves that we struggle from day to day, month to month, barely making ends meet. For what? To hand our lives over to the slavery of ‘work’, because we cannot even percieve of a better life? We become so stressed out that by evening time we are cranky and easily frustrated with our loved ones, just wanting to be left alone, and in return resenting our family duties. We are so stressed that by the time the weekend comes we are so tired we don’t want to move or go or do anything, we become unsocial and disconnected…. for what?
It makes no sense at all… other than we do it because we don’t know an alternative!?
If you stop and look at nature, what’s natural, then look at humans and the way we operate… you will see how crazy it all is! Birds and Bees and Trees don’t idolize money, they don’t want designer wings or leaves, they don’t work against daylight angrily frustrated and stressed out, they are not impatient with the progress of their lives, they are never in a hurry and often peaceful and playful. It makes you think right?
When I was traveling I met so many people who were doing some really interesting jobs, that seemed nothing like work at al. They worked when and where they wanted and were afforded enough money to travel the world. I had only ever known a world of 9-5, or 12hours shifts. I had only known a world of working Monday to Friday, and sometimes even 6 day weeks without additional reward. My world, before travel, spoke to me as though it were all set in stone. There was a protocol and way that people lived their lives, and because I didn’t know any different I was doing the same thing as everyone else.
I am here to tell you that it does NOT have to be like that! You too, can be free!
The first step to this freedom is becoming aware of the cage you are in.
To see the cage you must become aware of how crazy it is to even be in the cage. Once you can understand how ridiculous and unnatural it is to be ‘working’ against nature, ‘working’ to have more stress and less fun in your life and how unnatural that is, then you can begin to move forward.
By the way, it’s scary to see this. It is scary to stick your head up above the crowd and see that you are living like a robot… why is it scary? Because once you see this, and see how ridiculous it is, there is no going back. Once you can see this, you cannot and will not be able to go back to being a robot! To being asleep, and being like all the other sleepwalkers who are too afraid to stick their head up above the crowd to see the truth! Why is that so scary? Because once the veil of bullshit is lifted, strap in, because it’s going to be one hell of a ride!
Once the veil of bullshit comes up, and you begin to see how we have all been on a train-track to living the same carbon copies of life as each other, it forces you to question your reality. It forces you to question…. what would I like to really do with my life? Why are we here? How can I truly serve and fulfill my purpose? What am I working for? What purpose does all this endless struggle serve?
These are not easy questions and take some time to discover, but once you begin to ask them, you have started that journey. If you already know the answer or have already stuck your head above the crowd and begun to see the automation of the old life, welcome!
Then what? You begin your journey to self discovery and life fulfillment.
