There is a prevailing myth that therapists have cracked the code. That we exist in a state of perpetual zen, effortlessly managing our boundaries, eating our greens, and never spiralling into negative self-talk.
As a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist here in Cabinteely, Dublin 18, let me shatter that illusion right now: **I am right here in the trenches with you.**
Recently, I restarted a wellness program. My motivation was high, my mindset was locked in, and I was ready to win. Then came a toothache, followed by strong antibiotics, painkillers, and a bout of vertigo. Suddenly, I was bloated, constipated, dizzy, and feeling sorry for myself.
The physical discomfort triggered an old, familiar mental spiral: defeat, grief for the “perfect start” I’d lost, and the inevitable slide into self-sabotage. I had a binge. I called myself a loser. I wanted to quit.
Why am I sharing this?
Because if a therapist with decades of tools can get derailed by a toothache and an impatient Aries Moon, then perhaps *you* can cut yourself some slack, too.
The Anatomy of Self-Sabotage: Do You Recognize Yourself?
My recent stumble wasn’t just about pain meds; it was a perfect storm of my own internal wiring fighting itself. Do any of these resonate with you?
The Impossible Standard (The Perfectionist):
If I can’t do the plan 100% perfectly—if I miss a walk, eat a biscuit, or feel bloated—then the whole day is a write-off. This is my Virgo Sun screaming that “good enough” is failure.
The “F*ck It” Button (The All-or-Nothing Thinker):
“Well, I’ve eaten one bad thing, I might as well eat the whole cupboard and start again Monday.” This black-and-white thinking (my Scorpio Rising) is the enemy of consistency.
The Tantrum for Speed (The Impatient Soul)
Wanting results *now*, and feeling intense frustration when progress is slow or stalled.
When you mix these together, you don’t get wellness. You get a recipe for burnout and binging.
The Data on Why This is So Hard
You are not alone in this cycle. The psychology of dieting and “starting over” is brutal.
The “What-the-Hell Effect”:
Psychologists have documented a phenomenon where small indulgences (like breaking a diet) lead to larger ones due to guilt and a sense of failed goals.
Perfectionism Leads to Burnout:
Studies consistently show that high perfectionistic strivings are linked to higher rates of burnout, anxiety, and—ironically—lower actual achievement because the fear of failure becomes paralyzing.
We are trying to hate ourselves into change, and it simply doesn’t work.
The Massage Therapist Analogy
Often clients ask me, “You know all this stuff, why do you still struggle?”
Think of it this way: I am an excellent massage therapist for the mind. I know exactly where the knots are in *your* subconscious, and I have the tools to knead them out. But have you ever seen a massage therapist try to give themselves a full-back massage? It’s impossible.
We all need an external, unedited witness. We need someone else to hold the mirror, to apply the pressure, and to remind us of the tools we’ve forgotten to use.
The Gentle Pause: Moving from “Perfect” to “Progress”
So, how did I get out of the spiral? I didn’t “hustle” my way out. I used **The Gentle Pause**.
I stopped beating myself up for being human and having a physical body that gets sick. I accepted that I had binged, without letting it define my entire future. I looked at the seven weeks remaining in my program and decided that “imperfect movement in the right direction” was a massive victory over “perfect stillness in shame.”
Why I’m The Right Therapist for the “Messy Middle”
If you are looking for a therapist who will gaze serenely at you from a pedestal of perfection, I am not her.
But if you want a therapist who *gets it*—who understands the visceral pull of the binge, the paralyzing grip of perfectionism, and the exhaustion of the “start-stop” cycle because she navigates it too—then we need to talk.
I use Clinical Hypnotherapy to reprogram those subconscious “all-or-nothing” scripts, and Psychotherapy to help you sit with the discomfort of the “messy middle” without needing to burn everything down.
Let’s aim for sanity over perfection.
If this post resonated with you, please share it with a friend who is stuck in the perfectionism trap. If you’re ready to break the cycle, book a 1:1 session with me in Cabinteely, Dublin 18 or Online.
